Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Inventions, Nostalgia, and Things Kids Say

I've been back at work for three days now. I'm still alive, so that's good. I have been thinking about some interesting things and wanted to share.

Inventions. I am doing a lesson with my 3rd graders about inventions, famous inventors, etc. It might interest you to know that over the years, I have dreamed up several products-- that are now successful in the marketplace. Shoulda got the patents...

#1. The Heated Commode Seat--I invented this when I was 9. I just remember waking up every morning and first thing sitting on the frigid ceramic toilet seat. Certainly NOT the best part of waking up. "Why don't they make a heated toilet seat ?" I asked my mom. A few years later my idea appeared.
#2. Soap, Shampoo, and Conditioner Dispenser for shower--Years after I invented this while doing a class project, I saw the thing on an infomercial! Only, mine was better. It was actually part of the shower head, the one on the market is just attached to the wall. I guess I still might have something here.
#3. Multi-chip mix all in one bag--Being the chip-lover that I am, I thought of this in my early teens. Recently a friend introduced me to the Doritos Munchies. Even better than I imagined it.
#4. Lemon-flavored Sweet-n-Low--Hate lemon and hate Sweet-n-Low but it's a match made in heaven for those who insist on ruining a perfectly good glass of iced tea. It came on the market in a liquid form. Probably better than my idea which was to mix the sweet-n-low packets with the little packets of really sour lemon powder that they sell in convenience stores (anyone know what those packets are called? I can't remember)

I think I have actually invented more things than this but for the moment it's all that comes to mind. I will make this a reoccurring post as needed.

Nostalgia...For some reason I started singing a song from my early high school years today at school and it got me thinking of all of the great songs from the early 90's. As a result, birth of the new blog playlist. Enjoy!

Things Kids Say
Earlier this week, some of my 2nd grade students were discussing occupations that require a college degree. They were asking me what you need to go to college for. One boy--a "good kid"--informed us all that he would like to be a Scientist when he grows up. "Do you need college for that?" he asked. "Absolutely," I replied. "Well, I already know some science," he said. (Can you guess where we're going here?) I gulped. He continued, "Did you know that the end of you rectum is called you anus (pronounced Ann-us)? "Excuse me? " I choked, immediately realizing that I had requested him to repeat the valuable information. Thankfully, the average 2nd grader has no idea what a rectum or anus is and they all carried on without pause. Hopefuly Science-Guy will learn how to correctly pronounce body parts before he has any dealings with them.

And finally, the token post-pregnancy faux-pas--Kindergarten style. The conversation went something like this:
Girl 1: "Did you know Mrs. Ferguson was pregnant?"
Girl2(new since I left): "Did you know that after she has her baby she will get skinny?"
Girl 1: "She already HAD the baby!"
Girl 2: "Then why isn't she skinny?"

Good question, honey. Let me know when you find out.


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